Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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