NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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