What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We need a shit load of segways right now
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
