So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
