dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
