The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize