ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
