He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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