I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
