my room smells like sperm. sweet.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
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i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
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I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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