The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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