i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
