I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
