U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
