Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I have fence marks all over my body
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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