i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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