I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Randomize
