If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
