Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
is this the sara with the beer cane?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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