Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
