So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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