Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Moan for me like Helen Keller
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
