I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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