I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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