We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize