i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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