So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
