Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i out mim tonsoeep
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