I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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