she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It's rum buckets o'clock
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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