oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize