i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I can't put those talents on a resume
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
