I wannas sexs uuuuu
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
