The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
