my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
