ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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