isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
