I hope mine doesn't look like that
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Randomize
