Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I want to fling myself into the sun
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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