i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
