you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
