Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
