That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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