Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
