But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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