I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
