it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
