But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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