Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize