i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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