every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
