jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
