I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
