He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
whose parrot is this?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
