Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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