her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
