This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
