he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
