How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
