Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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