She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
